Prioritize Us

Star Rating 5/5

As a husband and father of two small children, I know firsthand how the daily grind can test even the strongest relationships. Between work, parenting, and attempting to squeeze in a little downtime, it’s easy for couples to drift apart—not because they don’t love each other, but because their priorities subtly shift without much discussion. That’s why Prioritize Us by Nick Brancato is such a refreshing and valuable read.

Brancato’s book isn’t just another relationship guide filled with abstract advice; it’s a practical, research-backed roadmap for couples looking to strengthen their bond by aligning their priorities. His core premise is simple but powerful: many relationship conflicts stem from misaligned priorities, not a lack of love. Whether it’s disagreements over how to spend money, allocate free time, or handle family obligations, Brancato argues that these conflicts can be traced back to hidden differences in what each partner values most.

At the heart of Prioritize Us is the Prioritize Us Test, a structured tool that helps couples assess and compare their personal and shared priorities. By assigning values to aspects of life such as career, finances, intimacy, and family, couples can calculate their Total Difference Score (TDS)—a metric that reveals how closely their priorities align. Brancato makes it clear that a perfect TDS is nearly impossible (and not the goal); rather, the exercise encourages honest conversations that foster empathy, compromise, and intentional decision-making.

One of the book’s biggest strengths is its accessibility. Brancato writes in a way that feels conversational and relatable, avoiding dry relationship psychology in favor of real-world examples. He shares stories of couples struggling with priority misalignment—whether it’s one partner focusing on career growth while the other craves more family time, or differing approaches to financial security versus lifestyle enjoyment. These anecdotes make it easy to see how small misalignments, left unaddressed, can snowball into deeper relationship stress.

Another highlight is the book’s emphasis on practical application. Unlike some relationship books that focus heavily on theory, Prioritize Us provides worksheets, reflection exercises, and concrete action steps that make it easy for couples to apply the principles immediately. Even busy parents (like me!) can find time for these quick but impactful discussions.

While the book’s structured approach may not appeal to couples who prefer a more organic, free-flowing approach to relationship growth, it’s an excellent fit for those who appreciate clear frameworks and actionable steps. My wife and I took the Prioritize Us Test, and while our TDS wasn’t alarmingly high, it definitely highlighted areas where we could communicate better—like how we balance individual self-care with family time.

Ultimately, Prioritize Us is a must-read for couples who want to not just survive but thrive in their relationship. It’s a reminder that love isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s about making intentional choices, every day, that prioritize the relationship itself. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this book offers valuable insights to help you stay connected, aligned, and moving forward as a team.

Reviewed By: Scott Olsen

Five Star: Must read 🏆
"Prioritize Us" is by far one of the best reads I've had this year, prioritizing the reading experience as much as the readers themselves

I've been at this book reviewing game for a good couple of years now, and during that time I have encountered all manner of self-help books (enough that I probably need a self-help book on my self-help book consumption). Relationships, they tend to me in the upper percentile of topics non-fiction authors turn their pen to when compiling guidance and advice. The reasoning? It is relatable, easily marketable and everyone thinks they're an expert.

Enter Nick Brancato, Personal Development Coach and educator, with his new title, Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test. On picking up this title, my initial thoughts were "nice cover, but dubious on the claim" (what can I say? I'm British and it's in our blood to be cautiously skeptical).

Coming in at 238 pages (nine chapters, with three appendices), Prioritize Us puts forward a simple exercise to help couples reconnect with what matters most to them. By placing a number between one and ten against a selection of core priorities, couples can compare the difference in numbers to arrive at a Total Difference Score (or TDS). 

Quick example, if I say my career means everything to me, scoring it one, but my boyfriend thinks nothing of his career and scores it ten, then our TDS for this attribute is nine. The higher the overall TDS number, the more polarized a couple may be in their values.

While in theory this sounds simple enough to explain, the reality is that Brancato does the content far greater justice. He applies his 25 years of experience into every corner of this book, it really shows. The tone of voice and formatting is clear, the pacing set just right. There are even appendices at the end that introduce variants of the test and ready-made, photocopiable pages for readers to print and use straight away. This, while at the same time humbly acknowledging that this book is by no means a silver bullet to solving all relationship problems. The nod to instances where independent counselling may be a better form of reconciliation is a welcome sight. It all makes for an informed and pleasant reading experience.

As relationship guides go, Prioritize Us is by far one of the best reads I've had this year. Made for people at any and all stages of their relationship, this is a book that prioritizes the reading experience as much as the readers themselves.

AEB Reviews

REVIEWED BY
Alice Bennett

Prioritize Us is a transformative relationship guide that tackles one of the most overlooked issues in couples’ lives: misaligned priorities. Through a simple yet effective system, including an innovative test, this book helps couples identify their hidden differences, resolve conflicts, and create a stronger, more intentional partnership. Packed with practical tools, relatable examples, and step-by-step guidance, Prioritize Us equips couples to better navigate life’s challenges.

Couples seeking a structured approach to enhancing their connection will find much to love in Brancato’s user-friendly debut. Promising a “practical, easy-to-use framework that helps you and your partner uncover where your priorities align and where they diverge,” Brancato introduces his Total Difference Score (TDS), a tool he designed to help partners explore their individual and shared values, ultimately fostering deeper empathy, trust, and collaboration. ​He emphasizes that many relationship conflicts stem from misaligned priorities rather than a lack of love, and he encourages readers to harness the TDS to identify areas that may require more intentional effort.​ 

Brancato keeps the material clearly organized and accessible throughout, as he guides readers through understanding life priorities, taking the TDS, interpreting its results, and turning those results into actionable goals. ​Each chapter is packed with practical advice, real-life examples, and reflection prompts that will assist couples as they navigate the challenges unique to their relationship. The sheer abundance of practical tools Brancato offers will keep readers focused on the conversations that count, reducing misunderstandings and fostering a “collaborative mindset.” He reminds readers that alignment does not equal “agreeing on everything” and urges them to put in the work necessary to improve their more vulnerable areas: “Even small shifts in alignment… can have a profound impact on your relationship,” he writes.

Prioritize Us is not just about identifying misalignments but also about appreciating strengths and building on shared values. Brancato encourages couples to create rituals and habits that reinforce their connection and reminds them to “celebrate small wins along the way.” ​The book's practical worksheets and templates make it easy to apply the concepts and track progress, and Brancato’s insightful, actionable approach transforms this into a valuable resource for couples seeking to deepen their connection and build a relationship that reflects their true values. 

Takeaway: User-friendly tools for couples seeking a deeper connection.

Comparable Titles: Marcus and Ashley Kusi’s Questions for Couples, Alica Muñoz’s The Couple’s Quiz Book.

Star Rating 4.5/5

In Prioritize Us, Nick Brancato offers a meticulous and methodically structured approach to strengthening romantic relationships by fostering alignment in personal and shared priorities. Rather than attributing relational discord to a lack of affection, Brancato argues that most conflicts stem from unacknowledged or misaligned values. Through a blend of psychological insight and practical exercises, Prioritize Us presents a compelling case for intentional relationship-building, equipping couples with the tools to navigate evolving life circumstances together.

Central to the book is the Total Difference Score (TDS), a diagnostic framework designed to quantify how well partners’ priorities align across ten fundamental life categories: career, finances, communication, intimacy, health, personal growth, relationships, safety, entertainment, and spirituality. By ranking these priorities individually and then comparing scores, couples uncover potential areas of misalignment—often the unspoken roots of recurring arguments. For instance, a partner who prioritizes financial security may view discretionary spending as irresponsible, while the other, valuing shared experiences, sees it as an investment in their relationship. Rather than allowing such differences to breed resentment, Prioritize Us encourages open dialogue, empathy, and compromise.

Brancato’s writing is both incisive and accessible, striking a balance between research-driven insights and real-world application. He illustrates his arguments with relatable vignettes, such as the case of Chris and Megan, a couple whose disagreement over vacation plans reveals deeper ideological differences—Chris seeks professional networking opportunities, while Megan desires an uninterrupted retreat from work. Similarly, he examines “priority drift” through Sam and Laura, a long-married couple whose once-shared ambition for career advancement diverges as Laura shifts focus to family life. These examples underscore the book’s primary thesis: relationship success is not about eliminating differences, but about recognizing and realigning them with intentionality.

What distinguishes Prioritize Us from more generic relationship advice books is its commitment to actionable strategies. Brancato does not merely diagnose the problem—he provides a clear roadmap for resolution. The book is replete with structured exercises, reflection prompts, and conversation starters designed to facilitate deeper understanding between partners. In the chapter Interpreting the Total Difference Score (TDS), he introduces a scoring rubric that helps couples categorize their alignment from “Synchronized” (minimal differences) to “Polarized” (critical misalignment requiring substantial intervention). The system offers a tangible metric for assessing relational harmony, making abstract emotional dynamics more manageable.

Another strength of Prioritize Us is its emphasis on the fluid nature of priorities. Brancato recognizes that relationships are not static entities but evolving partnerships influenced by external circumstances and internal growth. He advocates for regular reassessments of the TDS, particularly during major life transitions such as career shifts, parenthood, or relocation. The chapter Navigating Life Changes and Evolving Priorities provides a framework for periodic check-ins, ensuring that partners remain attuned to each other’s evolving needs rather than drifting apart due to unspoken expectations.

While the book’s structured methodology is a strength, some readers may find the numerical approach to relational dynamics overly clinical. Relationships, after all, do not always lend themselves to quantitative assessment. However, Brancato mitigates this concern by emphasizing that the TDS is not a rigid verdict but a starting point for meaningful conversations. The goal is not perfect alignment but a mutual understanding that fosters deeper trust and emotional security.

In sum, Prioritize Us is a sophisticated and pragmatic guide for couples seeking to cultivate a more intentional and harmonious relationship. Brancato’s fusion of empirical research, real-world case studies, and actionable exercises makes this book a valuable resource for those willing to engage in self-reflection and proactive communication. Whether newly dating or decades into marriage, readers will find that this book offers not just a test, but a transformative toolkit for relational success.

Reviewed By: Thomas Williams

The One Test That Could Save Your Relationship — and Make It Thrive

My wife and I have been married for almost 40 years. In all that time, I can count on one hand how many weekend afternoons we have spent together. She goes in one direction (shopping, show, friends) and I go in another (house projects, the dog, watching sports). I don’t want to do her activities (she doesn’t even suggest I come along) and she doesn’t want to do mine. There’s no right or wrong. And that’s absolutely fine. It’s not that we have the perfect marriage (although it’s close); it’s just that we understand and respect each other’s priorities.

Misaligned Priorities
As personal development coach Nick Brancato might say, our internal priority maps, at least on weekend afternoons, are in neat alignment. But all too often in relationships, those priority maps are out of sync. They manifest themselves under the surface but show up in the form of petty disagreements. There’s a bigger underlying problem, which, if not addressed and discussed openly, can lead to frustration, tension and unmet expectations.

Yet Brancato aims to lessen the gap and help partners navigate what can be rough terrain when they do not acknowledge they’re each other’s priorities. That’s why he has written a very revealing and insightful book entitled Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test.

Brancato doesn’t suggest that a person magically accepts the other’s priorities and work to make those the same. In fact, different priorities are totally healthy — but not if they go unaddressed and show up in daily spats that mask the bigger issue.
“The good news,” writes Brancato, “is that misaligned priorities don’t have to lead to disconnection. With the right tools and conversations, couples can transform misalignments into opportunities for growth.”

Unlocking the Secret to Lasting Love
Prioritize Us is a guidebook with steps, checklists and examples to help readers identify their own priorities through self-reflection, understanding differences, and creating lasting alignment.

Brancato introduces readers to the Prioritize Us System, a practical, easy-to-use framework that helps couples uncover where speed bumps reside and how to get around them. He also shows couples how to determine their priorities via the Total Difference Score (TDS) tool, which helps people zero in on their own priorities and compare their rankings with their partner. 

What Brancato hopes to provide are conversation starters, meaningful dialogue that goes beyond the numbers and specifically dissects what’s behind those numbers. And to that end, this book is an action-generator more than just a collection of ideas, buzzwords and philosophies.

The author outlines what he identifies as the 10 universal life priorities that serve as the basis for examination and discussion: career, communication, entertainment, finances, growth, health, relationships, safety, sex and spirituality.

The author is an admirable communicator, making many points but not leaving them hanging. He explains what’s going on “under the hood” and effectively takes readers far beyond checklists and activities. 

Love Isn’t Perfect, But It Can Be Intentional
Brancato has written more than a book — he has created a solutions-filled strategy to get wayward couples back on track and help seasoned pairs stay current as their needs and priorities change.

“This book is more than just a test,” says Brancato. “It’s a comprehensive roadmap for building a relationship that reflects what matters most to both people in that relationship.”

He hopes readers will discover new ways to connect and grow, not only for the relationship they have today but for the future they want to build together.

“It’s not about achieving perfection,” says Brancato. “It’s about growing together with intention, empathy and love. Life will continue to change, but with the right tools, readers can face every challenge and opportunity as a team.”

Contributor: Jim Alkon

Star Rating 4.5/5

In Prioritize Us, Nick Brancato presents a compelling and structured guide to strengthening relationships through the power of aligned priorities. The book is centered around the idea that most conflicts in relationships stem not from a lack of love but from misaligned values and priorities. Through his “Prioritize Us Test” and the concept of the Total Difference Score (TDS), Brancato provides couples with a practical framework to identify, compare, and realign their priorities.

The book is divided into clear, actionable chapters that guide readers through the process of self-reflection, priority ranking, and open communication with their partners. Topics include identifying personal and shared priorities, navigating conflicts that arise from differing values, and adapting to life’s inevitable changes. Brancato emphasizes that alignment doesn’t mean having identical priorities but rather learning how to support and respect each other’s values while working toward shared goals.

By offering a step-by-step methodology, conversation prompts, and real-world examples, Prioritize Us provides couples with tools to foster deeper emotional connection, reduce friction in decision-making, and create a strong foundation for a long-lasting, fulfilling partnership​.

Nick Brancato’s writing style is clear, engaging, and highly practical. He skillfully blends psychology, relationship insights, and real-life scenarios to make the content relatable and easy to apply. The book is structured logically, moving from self-reflection to partner discussions and ultimately to actionable steps for realignment. Each chapter includes reflection prompts and exercises, making it not just a theoretical guide but a hands-on workbook for couples seeking tangible improvements.

One of the book’s strengths is its emphasis on empathy and curiosity rather than criticism and judgment. Brancato encourages readers to view their differences as opportunities for growth rather than roadblocks. His concept of the Total Difference Score (TDS) is particularly useful, offering couples a measurable way to assess their alignment and track progress over time.

However, the book’s systematic approach may feel too structured for couples who prefer a more organic way of navigating their relationship dynamics. Additionally, while Brancato acknowledges that priorities evolve, some readers might wish for deeper discussions on handling significant shifts, such as career changes, parenthood, or unexpected life crises.

Overall, Prioritize Us is a valuable resource for couples looking to enhance their connection through intentional conversations and shared priorities. Its blend of practical tools and insightful wisdom makes it a worthwhile read for anyone invested in long-term relationship success.

Reviewed By: Bradley Allen

5 out of 5 stars

Prioritize Us by Nick Brancato is a book focused on the growth and development of relationships. This book walks the reader through a special survey tool called the Total Difference Scale (TDS) that is aimed to help readers understand their personal priorities in life as well as those of their romantic partners. 

Not only does the author take the reader through the inner workings of the TDS, but they also provide insights and techniques for self-reflection, alignment of values between partners, and much more.

This book is incredible! I thoroughly enjoyed learning about the different tools, such as the TDS and SMART goals, that the author provides to help people in relationships understand their partner and find methods to resolve their differences. The author approaches differences in priorities through as many different angles as possible, and this provides a very thorough approach for readers to use. 

I particularly appreciated the author’s encouragement and dedication to having readers understand that differences in the TDS do not mean incompatibility but rather a starting point for growth and development. They emphasized open communication and compatibility and did not provide any deadlines or ultimatums for readers, and this helps to set this book apart from others. 

I also enjoyed the reflection questions that the author provided, as this kept me engaged and involved while reading the book. The multiple tools, tables, and surveys are especially useful, and I wholeheartedly believe that this is a book that I will be coming back to in the future!

The only thing that I disliked about this book was the underlying repetitiveness. While the book focused on a growth mindset as well as maintaining open communication and a nonjudgmental approach, I felt that these themes were often repeatedly mentioned throughout the book in a similar and repetitive fashion. Since these themes were often necessary to repeat, this dislike was not severe enough to deduct points. 

Overall, I would rate this book 5 out of 5 for all the reasons mentioned above. There were mentions of intimacy as a key theme to understand in relation to personal priorities without explicit sexual content, and there was no profanity in this book. 

I would recommend this book to anyone in a relationship or looking to start a relationship soon, as this book will be useful to anyone interested in fostering a healthy environment! 

Sindhu Manivannan

Star Rating: 4 / 5

For partnerships to endure and overcome challenging times, couples must communicate honestly about their priorities and expectations. This open dialogue can bring relief, as it helps prevent conflicts stemming from deeper, unresolved differences in what each partner values most. 

Personal development coach and educator Nick Brancato shares practical strategies for couples to enhance their collaboration through Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test. Drawing from his decades of experience working with individuals and couples, ​the author offers practical tools for couples to identify, understand, and realign their priorities. Among these tools is the Total Difference Score (TDS) system, which measures alignment between partners' life priorities. 

According to Brancato, misaligned priorities can create stress, tension, and unmet expectations in relationships, and invites readers to reflect upon their own experiences in their relationship. The exercises invite truthful and candid responses to name values, goals, and priorities. 

By aligning priorities, couples can work together on open communication, increasing empathy, and acting intentionally to navigate differences and build a collaborative partnership. Brancato offers valuable tips for improving communication, including regular check-ins and adjustments as life circumstances change to ensure both partners feel seen, heard, and supported. He advocates for regular discussions about priorities, urging partners to listen without judgment and express their needs clearly. ​

One piece of advice that stood out for me is Brancato’s challenge for readers to take communication about priorities a step further by turning priorities into meaningful goals. This process of goal-setting can be empowering, as it provides a clear path for personal and relationship growth. ​In business settings, the SMART goal framework – an acronym for specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and time-bound – ensures goals are clear and achievable. Readers will learn that they can co-create a balanced, fulfilling relationship by turning priorities into specific, actionable goals and tracking progress. 

Successful relationships require willingness from both parties to put in the work of intentional tending and continuous effort. Being married for more than a decade, I found Brancato’s advice relevant and applicable to couples at any stage in their relationship. Any opportunity to learn about each other opens the doors for a greater understanding of what the other person needs to thrive and be whole in the relationship. The book shares discussion prompts that are useful for guiding communication, for example: "Which priority feels most neglected right now?" ​ or "How can we support each other's top priorities more effectively?" Actionable advice and exercises can help couples navigate conflicts, set meaningful goals, and celebrate progress. 

Advice offered in Prioritize Us is organized and designed to be accessible and practical, offering clear and actionable steps​. Brancato’s way of dispensing information is both methodical and supportive, making it easy to follow and apply the concepts. This book can serve as a helpful guide for couples intent on enhancing their connection.

Reviewed by Maileen Hamto