A Data-Driven Approach to Lasting Love

How Measuring Relationship Alignment Transforms Connection

In my recent conversation on All The Things with Michelle Wolfe, we explored something most couples never think to measure—relationship alignment. Everyone tracks finances, health, and career growth, but few people track the health of their relationship. That’s exactly why I created Prioritize Us—to bring clarity, structure, and measurable alignment to modern relationships.

Why Relationships Fail (And It’s Not About Love)

Most relationships don’t fail because of a lack of love. They fail because of misaligned priorities. When couples experience tension, they often think they’re arguing about money, time, or intimacy, but in reality, these are just symptoms of deeper misalignments.

For example:

✅ One partner prioritizes career growth, while the other prioritizes quality time.
✅ One partner values financial security, while the other values spontaneity.
✅ One partner wants deep conversations, while the other expresses love through actions.

These aren’t wrong differences—they’re simply misalignments. But without a system to measure and address them, they create friction that erodes relationships over time.

The Total Difference Score (TDS): Your Relationship's "Credit Score"

In the podcast, I explained how the Total Difference Score (TDS) works. It’s a simple yet powerful metric that helps couples measure and track their alignment.

Here’s how it works:
1️⃣ Each partner ranks 10 core priorities (career, communication, finances, health, intimacy, etc.).
2️⃣ Their scores are compared, revealing alignment and misalignment.
3️⃣ A low TDS means strong alignment, while a high TDS signals key areas that need discussion.

🔹 Think of it like a GPS for your relationship—it ensures you and your partner are using the same map, heading toward the same destination, instead of getting lost along the way.

How Misalignment Sneaks Up on Couples

Michelle and I discussed how couples often drift apart without realizing it. Priorities shift over time—what mattered most five years ago may not be as important today. Without regular check-ins, couples unknowingly operate on outdated expectations, leading to disconnects that seem to "come out of nowhere."

🚀 That’s why TDS isn’t a one-time test—it’s a system for long-term success.
Just like you check in on your health, career, or financial goals, your relationship deserves the same intentional care.

How to Start Prioritizing Your Relationship Today

Here’s a simple but powerful exercise:
✅ Write down your Top 3 Priorities right now.
✅ Have your partner do the same.
✅ Compare your lists—are they aligned or surprising?

💡 Even this small conversation can reveal insights you hadn’t considered before. The more you align, the stronger your connection becomes.

Final Thoughts: Love Needs a Strategy

Love is powerful, but without alignment, it can feel chaotic. The Prioritize Us framework takes the guesswork out of relationships—helping couples not just stay together, but thrive together.

If this resonates with you, grab a copy of Prioritize Us and take the TDS assessment with your partner. The results may surprise you—and they’ll definitely transform the way you communicate, connect, and prioritize each other.